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pascal_curious) wrote2009-12-03 02:50 pm
Chapter 27 : BFF
The afternoon went quickly. Bernard introduced Nervous to the art of desert farming.
Bernard had paid to have truckloads of nutritious soil brought in from a construction site in nearby Sim City. He found that after mixing it with some of the plentiful sand and carefully chosen fertilizers, and installing a clever irrigation system, he was able to grow some very healthy plants. He kept enough fruits and vegetables for himself and sold the rest to the Armando’s restaurant and The Area 52 grocery store. They were willing to pay more for local produce than the stuff that had be trucked in from California. This arrangement worked well for Bernard. He liked subsistence living and he was able to save money for when the novelty wore off and he wanted to rejoin society.
Nervous helped Bernard harvest tomatoes, beans, eggplants, strawberries, and a few apples, oranges, and lemons from the fledgling fruit trees. They worked in shifts to avoid being out in the scorching desert heat for too long.
They harvested for a while, then took a swim and had a drink, and then went out to harvest some more. The work was hard, something that Nervous was not used to. He enjoyed working with Bernard. He told Bernard about his home troubles and his friends. Bernard told him about his work as a software engineer and his failed marriage and his decision to move to the middle of nowhere to live like a hermit.
By dinner time they had harvested all of the fruits and veggies that were ripe. Bernard used his cell phone (he charged it overnights in his truck) and called the market to see if they were ready for a delivery.
Having made the arrangements, he and Nervous went into town.
They delivered their produce to Armando’s first. Nervous had never seen the inside of Armando’s before. He knew it was where Loki took Circe for their wedding anniversary. It was just as impressive inside as it was out.
Nervous mostly got to see the kitchens and walk-ins, but he did catch a few glimpses of the dining room from a kitchen doorway
He was in awe of the marble floors and crystal chandeliers. There were roses everywhere.
Bernard explained that he was going to try to build a greenhouse so he could supply Armando’s with fresh flowers as well as produce. Looking at all the elegantly dressed couples eating, Nervous hoped that one day he would have someone special enough to bring to Armando’s.
After getting paid by Armando himself (Armando generously gave them a box full of pastries and desserts from the previous night’s menu), they drove Bernard’s rusty gray pickup to the Area 52 Shopping Center.
Area 52 had been part of the nearby army base that had been sold and converted into an open air shopping center.
Nervous was pleased to learn that they didn’t have to unload the produce at the market. He and Bernard looked around the store as they waited for their truck to be unloaded.
Bernard picked up the groceries he would need until he made his next delivery.
They bought some steaks for the grill and lots of canned goods.
Nervous picked out a box of Cap’n Crunch and a bag of Oreos to go with the cans of shelf stable milk.
Their bill was subtracted from Bernard’s payment for the produce while Nervous took the opportunity to get cash from the ATM.
“I really should get a new phone,” said Nervous as they put the last of the groceries into the truck. “I had my old one in my pocket when I jumped into the water. Circe will kill me when she finds out.”
“There is a kiosk over there,” pointed out Bernard.
Nervous spotted the kiosk. He had been about to go and get a new phone when he had a thought.
“Hey Bernie,”
Bernard gave him an annoyed look over the hood of the truck. “Do NOT call me Bernie.”
“Sor-ry!” said Nervous. “I was just wondering if you wanted to do something while we are here. I’ll buy.”
Bernard considered it. He was a regular at the Corner Pub, but he never had frequented any of the other places at Area 52. He was usually alone when he came. There really wasn’t much point in going bowling alone.
“What the hell,” he said as he locked the truck doors.
“Great! I’ll just go get my new phone and I’ll meet you at the arcade.”
“Okay.” Bernie shrugged and watched as Nervous went off toward the electronics kiosk. He wondered if he had any quarters.
It had been a while since Bernard had so much fun. Living the way he did, he had forgotten that companionship is nice from time to time.
Bernard and Nervous spent a couple of hours playing video games. Bernard was surprised to see that arcade had some of the old classics like Pac-Man and Asteroid.
After extinguishing their supply of quarters they decided to go bowling.
Bernard hadn’t been bowling since he was in school. (Bowling is about the only thing a poor trade school kid could afford to do for entertainment.) Nervous was a very good bowler. He explained that, before Pascal had became a father, the Curious brothers had come bowling with him a lot.
Bowling was fun, especially while drinking Budweiser. It was even more fun when there was a gaggle of pretty young girls in the next lane.
Several games and numerous pitchers of beer later, Nervous decided he was hungry. He suggested going to the Tiki place behind the bowling alley, but Bernard insisted on going to his favorite place, The Corner Pub.
The Pub had been a Strangetown institution for years. It was the only bar in town for good reason. With over 200 imported beers and microbrews from around the world, and authentic pub cuisine like Bangers and Mash, Beef Pasties, Shepard’s Pie, and Fish ‘n Chips, no other bar had been able to compete and ended up closing within a few months. The Pub was the place to be.
Nervous and Bernard stumbled into the bar, just one building away from the bowling alley. The music inside was loud, and the air was thick with cigarette smoke.
Bernard led Nervous to his favorite stool at the bar. This was the first time Nervous had been in the bar, mostly because he was under age. Getting beer at the bowling alley had been easy since he was a regular there with the Curious boys, and everybody in town knew the Curious boys.
Bernard sat in his favorite stool and invited Nervous to take the place next to him. Before Bernard had time to attract the bar tender’s attention, he had a pint of Murphy’s Irish Red placed in front of him.
“Make it two tonight, barkeep” Bernard said with a silly drunken grin. “One for my friend here.”
The Bartender scrutinized Nervous carefully.
“Of course!” Bernard lied emphatically. He kept a remarkably straight face for an inebriant.
“If it were anyone other than you, Mr. Carlton, I’d tell them to sod off.” The Bartender turned his blind eye and sat a pint of Murphy’s in front of Nervous.
The sat, quietly quaffing, for a short while. Both of them made short work of their pints and pushed their mugs to the inside of the bar for refills. Bernard ordered them both a meal of fish and chips. The ale went down extra smoothly with the meal and they were soon ready for more refills. Bernard placed a Fifty dollar bill on the bar next to his empty glass. Bernard showed Nervous the beer list and asked him which country’s brew he would like to try next.
“I’d stay away from the Czech beer,” Bernard advised. “It will take the hair clean off of your chest.”
Nervous looked at Bernard with a raised eyebrow, or at least the ridge where his eyebrow should have been.
Bernard was suddenly reminded of Nervous’ story about is recent encounter with the Adaptable Interfaced Neutronium Necrothermometer. He tried to contain his mirth with a snort.
“Sorry,” he chuckled. “Maybe you should try the Jagermeister. That will put that hair right back on to your chest, and your balls.”
Both of Nervous’ eyebrow ridges went up this time.
Bernard laughed so hard he almost had Grolsch come out of his nose.
“Believe me, the panties with aliens on them were much more than I wanted to see.”
Nervous’ ears turned beet red but he couldn’t help but laugh in spite of his embarrassment.
“Who is the redhead,” Nervous asked later over a bowl of peanuts.
“Hmm?” mumbled Bernard, his mouth full of nuts and beer.
“The one in all of your paintings.”
Bernard swallowed his mouthful and followed it with another sip from his pint.
“Sophia,” He told Nervous.
“Is she, like, a real person, or someone you made up?”
“She is very much like a real person. So much so, that we went to school together.” Bernard explained.
“She’s cute. Was she your girlfriend or something?
Bernard groaned. He had hoped to covey something more than cuteness in his artwork.
“No. I wasn’t that lucky,” he lamented.
“What happened,” Nervous asked, completely oblivious to the fact that Bernard might not want to talk about it.
“She graduated and we went our separate ways.” Bernard took another handful of peanuts to avoid having to explain further.
“But if you liked her why didn’t you tell her?”
Bernard swallowed and sighed. “I almost did.”
“What stopped you?”
Bernard looked at Nervous’ innocently curious face. “You have never been in love have you?”
Nervous thought a moment. There had been that cute little blonde girl in the third grade who had kissed him during recess. Then he remembered that she had only kissed him on a dare. She ended up getting a New Kids on the Block stickerbook and a packet of HoHos out of the deal.
“Nope.”
“I didn’t think so.”
Nervous wondered why it had never been that important for him to have a girlfriend. He knew a lot of guys whose only purpose in life was to see how much tail they could get. It never seemed that important to him. It wasn’t that he didn’t like girls. He liked girls a lot. He supposed it was because he had other things on his mind, like whether Loki was going to test the new Spatial Neurotransmitter Probe on him or not.
“She was heading off to college with her dream to become a famous author or journalist, and I would be stuck back in Riverblossom Hills going to trade school. I didn’t want to hold her back.”
“You must have thought she felt the same way then.” Nervous said astutely.
“Yes, I thought she might feel the same. She kissed me when I left her graduation party. I thought about telling her then but decided not to.”
“Yes.”
“And you never tried to find her later, like after college or anything?”
”I learned from a mutual friend that she had gotten married.”
Nervous thought for a few minutes. It all seemed a little creepy to him. It was more than a little weird to be pining away for someone after ten years.
“Don’t you think you are a little obsessed with her?” Nervous asked indelicately.
Bernard looked offended. “I am not obsessed!” he insisted.
“Oh, come on, you are so obsessed with her.”
Bernard recognized that he was being teased, but there might have been a slight truth to what Nervous said.
“I’m only a little obsessed with her.”
“You’re a little obsessed with her like the sun is a little bit big.”
They both laughed and drank from their pints. Bernard drained his glass and pushed it to the edge of the bar.
“Another round, barkeep!” Bernard shouted in the direction of the bartender.
Nervous quickly drained his and pushed it next to Bernard’s.
The bartender took the price out of the money that Bernard had left on the bar before he filled their mugs. Experience had taught him that drunks have trouble counting after last call.
Nervous lifted his mug. “Bernie,” he addressed his new BFF. “To women!”
Bernard lifted his mug and smacked it against Nervous’. Beer sloshed over their hands and on to the bar. The bartender was quick with his rag.
“To Sophia!” toasted Bernard.
“To… um…” Nervous became painfully aware that he didn’t have a woman to toast to. “To…Mary Jane!” he shouted.
Bernard nearly fell off of his stool in a fit of drunken guffaws.
“Hey,” he yelled at Nervous. “Don’t call me Bernie!”
The both of them roared with laughter.
The bartender rolled his eyes.
no subject
I can't wait for Andy to get her first haircut. that will be fun. ;-)
Almost everybody in Strangetown knows eachother (or of eachother), but there are one or two troublesome newcomers. I stuck the Ottomas' in town, they are always good for a laugh.