Chapter 11: The Unexpected
Jan. 20th, 2007 11:34 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
pascal_curious
Finally!
“You think I’m crazy, don’t you,” she asked.
“No. I think you are probably quite sane.”
“You believe me?”
“Maybe. Tell me what it looked like.”
“It was just like something out of one of those old UFO movies from the fifties. It was a round disk with yellow and red circular markings. There was a ring of green lights around the outer edge of the disk and the lights all flashed in sequence around it. That was the flashing light I had seen.”
She put her head in her hands and sighed.
“Did you see the cargo bay door open when they pushed Lazlo Out?” I asked.
She looked up, astonished.
“You saw it too?” she asked hopefully.
“I didn’t see it last night, but I have seen it before.”
“You mean you knew all along what had happened and you have been tormenting me about it for your own sadistic pleasure?”
“I can’t deny that I have enjoyed tormenting you, but it wasn’t for my own sadistic pleasure,” I explained. “I wasn’t 100% sure what you had seen and I didn’t want to say anything to you until I was sure you had seen it. If you hadn’t seen what you did last night and I came to you with a story like the one you just told me, would you have believed me?”
“No. I probably would have thought you were crackers,” she admitted.
“So you understand why I have been giving you such a hard time then?” I asked sheepishly.
“Yes, but you didn’t have to enjoy it so much.”
“It was fun,” I conceded with a smile.
“Ooh, I like to go look through the telescope when I can’t sleep,” she mocked in a sing-song voice. “Maybe one of these days I will see a flying saucer.”
She kicked my shin again.
“Jerk!” She proclaimed with mock anger.
There was a brief awkward silence as she picked up some of the scattered chess pieces.
“Well, since we have established that you and I both are seeing things, you can tell me how you lost so much weight so quickly.”
“Oh damn.”
I was having so much fun that I had completely forgotten about my end of the bargain.
“Don’t think you are going to weasel out of it after what you just put me through,” she informed me.
“Okaaaay,” I acknowledged.
I sat back in my chair and crossed my arms in front of me. I weighed my options carefully for a moment and I decided to go for broke.
“What happened to Lazlo last night happened to me earlier this year.”
“I’m not quite sure I am clear on exactly what did happen to Lazlo,” she said.
“He was abducted,” I stated simply. “He was on the roof using the telescope we have up there. He didn’t even see them coming.”
“And the same thing happened to you?” she asked incredulously.
“Yes.”
“What does all of this have to do with your weight problem?”
This was going nowhere. I decided to take a different approach. I stood up and put out my hand for her to take.
“I have something I want to show you,” I informed her anxiously.
“That’s a loaded statement if I ever heard one,” she remarked. “It’s sort of like, ‘Would you like some candy little girl?’ .”
“C’mon, before I change my mind.”
She put her hand in mine and followed me part way down the hall.
“Where are we going?” she asked cautiously.
“My room.”
“Oh no we’re not, Mister,” she cried, pulling her hand away.
“Oh Christ!” I exclaimed in exasperation. “It’s nothing like that! That is the furthest thing from my mind at the moment.”
“Oh,” she said, almost sounding disappointed.
“Please,” I pleaded. “Trust me. You have no idea how much trust I am putting in to you by telling you this.”
“Okay,” she aquiesed.
“What a dirty little mind you have,” I teased.
She took my hand which was full of nervous sweat by this time, and we continued toward my room.
“Shhh,” I said with my finger on my lips.
I opened the bedroom door and flicked on the lights. I led her over to Andy’s crib and her gaze fell on my sleeping daughter.
“This is my daughter Andromeda,” I whispered in her ear.
“Now I am really confused,” she told me, shaking her head.
This was still going nowhere. Maybe I should have just blurted out ‘I was abducted by aliens, impregnated by them, went into labor 9 months later and had a green baby’ from the get go.
“When I was abducted the aliens somehow impregnated me. The first time you met me I was 9 months pregnant.”
A look of confusion and disbelief crossed her face.
“You were pregnant?” she asked just a little too loudly.
“Shhh!” I reprimanded, and ushered her out of the room. I quietly closed the door behind us and shooed her down the hall toward the kitchen. She sat down heavily on one of the kitchen stools. Her brows were furrowed in confusion as she bit her bottom lip.
“The night of your party, after Lazlo, Vidcund, and Nervous came home, I went into labor. I had Andromeda that night,” I explained as I poured us fresh mugs of coffee.
She didn’t say anything right away, obviously deep in thought.
“What did…, I mean, why…, er, how…, where did it come out of?”
She looked like one half of her wanted to know but the other half didn’t.
I lifted my shirt to expose my disfigured navel and she leaned over the island to get a closer look.
“It came out of your navel?”
“Yes.
She cringed.
“Was it painful?”
“Excruciating,” I said matter-of-factly.
She looked at her mug of coffee and then she looked at me.
“Do you have anything stronger than this?” she asked, pointing at her steaming cup.
I chuckled and took a bottle from the cabinet behind me.
“Will this do?” I asked, holding up a bottle of vintage scotch inherited from my father’s liquor cabinet.
“That will do nicely.”
I poured us each a jigger of the amber liquid and handed her a glass. She threw it back, shook it off and held out her glass in request for another.
“You sure you can handle it? I asked, laughing.
“I spent 6 years at University, I could probably drink you under the table,” she informed me and threw the second drink back.
“Did you actually learn anything?” I asked. "Other than how to hold your liqor, I mean."
She shook the second drink off and answered, “Master’s in English Literature. I was a teacher before I moved here.”
I drank my own and felt the burn trail down into my belly, lighting my insides with a nice warm fire.
“Does this mean Lazlo will have a baby?” she asked.
“I don’t really know. It is possible.”
I lifted my t-shirt again, showing her my scar.
“See this?” I asked, tracing one of the pink lines that made up the starburst around my belly-button. “Lazlo has the same scar as I do. I had the unfortunate privilege of seeing him naked this morning.”
I was about to tell her about Vidcund’s abduction when I was interrupted by the sound of Andromeda’s hungry cries. I looked to the clock on the wall.
“Right on schedule,” I said. “Sorry, destiny calls.”
I went to Andy’s crib, leaving Amber alone to think.
Andy was ripe with the smell of a freshly filled diaper.
“Whoooo! You are stinky, baby girl!” I remarked as I held her at arm’s length. I couldn’t help it. I wasn’t quite used to the smell of baby poo yet. Andy’s really fragrant movements still made me retch a little.
I took Andy to the changing table just off of the kitchen and got down to business. Due to my sensitivity to the smell of infant feces, I had developed diaper changing not only into an art form, but a sporting event. Lazlo currently held the household record of fifty-seven seconds. His record included a slathering of ‘Boudreaux’s Butt Paste’, which made it hard to beat. I made quick work of the offending nappie and gathered my little girl up for a quick cuddle.
It never ceases to amaze me how even the butchest of men, say for example Arnold Shwarzenegger or Bruce Willis, or even the great William Shatner, when you put a baby in their arms they turn into babbling idiots. I am no exception to this, my lack of butchness not withstanding. I snuggled her and she cooed in that adorable way babies do. I threw her in the air, tickled and kissed her tummy until she squealed with glee. I was completely oblivious to the fact that I was being watched. I was so wrapped up in the joy of playing with my daughter I had completely forgotten about Amber.
As I turned to enter the kitchen, Andromeda in my arms, I noticed Amber sitting on the sofa, watching and smiling. I suddenly felt very self conscious of my idiotic behavior and I could tell by the rising temperature in my ears that I was probably blushing.
"Sorry," I said sheepishly. "I sometimes get a little carried away."
Amber laughed.
"It’s quite all right Pascal, I won’t tell anyone," she assured me.
“I just have to feed her. She usually falls right to sleep after,” I explained.
She smirked deviously.
“Do you… um, you know?” she cupped her breast in her hand and threw me a grin and a wink.”
I laughed out loud.
“No. Unfortunately they did not return me with that equipment,” I told her. “Do you think I would look go with a pair?”
It was her turn to laugh out loud.
“I never found man boobs to be especially appealing.”
“Will you hold her while I warm a bottle?” I requested.
“Sure.” She said, rising from the sofa.
I handed her the baby and went about the business of bottle warming.
It was a little strange to see Amber holding Andromeda. She smiled sweetly as she tickled Andy’s tummy and toes. Andy took to her right away, wrapping her tiny hand around Amber’s finger. Both of them looked quite happy. I almost hated to disturb them as I approached with the bottle.
Amber looked up, still smiling.
“May I?” she asked.
“Uh, yeah,” I answered, a little surprised. I handed Amber the bottle and watched her as she fed Andormeda.
“She’s beautiful,” she told me.
”You think so?” I asked. All this time I had been afraid I had been seeing my daughter through daddy tinted glasses. It was natural that I thought Andy beautiful, but it was a relief to hear an outsider say so. I didn’t want Andy to grow up with people seeing her as some kind of walking freak show.
Amber fed Andromeda, burping her at appropriate intervals, until the bottle was empty.
"You have done this before, haven't you?" I asked as I leaned against the center island and watched.
"I used to babysit during the summers when I was a kid, to make money for college."
I took the empty bottle and tossed it into the sink where it landed with a clunk.
“Who is the sweetest baby in the whole universe?” I asked in a squeaky voice as I tickled Andy’s tummy. Amber held the baby up and we took turns in a quick game of pee-a-boo until Andromeda started to yawn and become disinterested.
“Do you want me to put her down?” Amber asked.
“Sure,” I told her.
“Why don’t you pour us each another glass of that horrible scotch while I get her to sleep?”
“Gladly.”
I busied myself about the kitchen, emptying coffee cups, rinsing the bottle, emptying the coffee pot and putting the lot in the dishwasher. I could hear Amber whispering sweetly to Andromeda over the baby monitor. While I filled our glasses with doubles of the scotch I heard her wooing Andromeda to sleep with a lullaby.
Over in Killarney,
Many years ago,
Me mither sang a song to me
In tones so sweet and low.
Just a simple little ditty,
In her good ould Irish way,
And I'd give the world if she could sing
That song to me this day.
Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ral,
Too-ra-loo-ra-li,
Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ral,
Hush, now don't you cry!
Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ral,
Too-ra-loo-ra-li,
Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ral,
That's an Irish lullaby.
Oft, in dreams I wander
To that cot again,
I feel her arms a huggin' me
As when she held me then.
And I hear her voice a humin'
To me as in days or yore,
When she used to rock me fast asleep
Outside the cabin door.
Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ral,
Too-ra-loo-ra-li,
Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ral,
Hush, now don't you cry!
Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ral,
Too-ra-loo-ra-li,
Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ral,
That's an Irish lullaby.
I sat on one of the kitchen stools and listened quietly as she sang the lullaby sin her sweet melodic voice. She sang the song just as an Irish grandmother would have. Had I not known otherwise I would have thought she moved here directly from the Isle of Green.
Amber returned to the kitchen, a lovely smile still on her face.
“Going My Way?” I asked.
“Huh?”
She looked as though I had startled her out of a daydream.
“Going My Way,” I repeated. “Bing Crosby sang that lullaby in ‘Going My Way’.”
“You’re right, he did. I learned it from my mother though. She learned it from her mom. My great-grandparents were Irish immigrants.”
She sat down beside me and I slid her glass in front of her.
“You don’t seem to be having much of an issue accepting all of this,” I observed. “I thought I would have a more difficult time convincing you.”
“Well, it is kind of hard to ignore such concrete evidence as a green baby,” she rationalized with a shrug.
“I thought that maybe the scotch helped a little,” I said.
“It certainly didn’t hurt, that’s for sure, but when you have been through what I have in the past year you learn to expect the unexpected and accept the unacceptable,” she elucidated.
“How is that,” I asked curiously.
She sighed somberly.
“I guess that Lazlo probably told you that my husband died.”
“Yes, he did. I’m very sorry.” I empathized.
“It was something of a freak occurrence, sort of like hitting the lottery, getting hit by lightening, and dying in a plane crash all on the same day.”
She swallowed back something that I assumed to be a lump in her throat.
“He and I had only been married two years. We liked to go outside in the evenings, lay in the grass and watch the stars. The night he died I had left him alone outside while I went in to answer the telephone. I normally would have left it ring but for some reason that night I decided to answer it. While I was on the phone there was a tremendous explosion outside and the whole yard and parts of the house were on fire. I don’t even remember who it was I hung up on to call 911.”
She focused on tracing the rim of her glass with her fingers to avoid looking at me. I could see the tears welling in her eyes.
“I ran out into the yard but the fire was just too much. There was nothing I could have done. The firefighters were able to put out the fire on the house and in the yard, but there was no way anyone could have saved him.”
I hated to ask, but I sensed she wanted me to, or at least expected me to, so she could finish her story.
“What happened?”
“Of course there was an investigation by the fire marshal, and before I knew what was happening my house and yard were swarming with federal agents and the street was lined with reporters and their uplink trucks. I was eventually whisked away by some people to a hotel until the whole mess could be sorted out. They gave me everything I could have possibly wanted or needed, even some sedative to calm my nerves.”
She took a deep breath and wiped her nose.
“The next day I was visited by some men in dark suits,” she continued. “They told me that an old defunct satellite had fallen into our yard and that it was a miracle that I had not been killed and that the house was still standing. I was handed a check for an exorbitant amount of money and asked to sign a piece of paper. I refused to sign anything until they told me exactly what had happened. They weren’t happy about it, but they explained to me that it had been a government spy satellite and that it would be detrimental to national security if I revealed that information to anyone. There wasn’t much I could do but sign the non-disclosure agreement and accept the check.”
“But if you signed, then why are you telling me?” I asked quietly.
She looked up and he eyes met mine. A solitary tear slid down her cheek.
“Because I trust you,” she said simply.
She quickly wiped the tear away with the back of her hand and gave me a half-hearted smile.
“So now you know why it is so easy for me to believe you.”
She raised her glass.
“To the unexpected,” she toasted.
“The unexpected,” I said, gently clinking my glass against hers.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2007-01-21 07:08 am (UTC)I just like looking at myself so much that I can't resist including pictures of myself. :)
no subject
Date: 2007-01-21 08:26 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-01-22 04:15 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-01-21 08:39 am (UTC)I really hope I get to see a falling satellite one of these days.
no subject
Date: 2007-01-21 06:09 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-01-21 07:09 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-01-22 10:25 pm (UTC)And I think he and Amber could be very good friends (or more, though I hope he´ll be closer to Nervous), they´re tarred with the same brush.
no subject
Date: 2011-03-18 01:15 am (UTC)