A Curious State of Affairs

I felt like there was a hunk of burning hot lead in the pit of my belly. It was almost too much for me to comprehend; my brother-in-law was responsible for my father’s abduction. I had always thought that John was a trifle strange, but it never occurred to me that he could be such a creep. Not only had he impregnated my father (I wasn’t even going to consider how it might have been done), he had also felt the need to spawn with my sister as well. This meant that Chloe and Lola were not only our half-sisters, but our nieces as well (and Jenny’s step-daughters!). It reminded me of that old Ray Stevens song, “I’m my own Grandpa”. The only difference was that the song was mildly amusing, while this whole situation was anything but.

Amber was sitting on the floor with Andromeda playing with the Wibbly Wobbly Wabbit Head when there was a knock at the door. She hadn’t been expecting any deliveries or any visitors. She put Andromeda in the Pack ‘N Play with her Wobbly Wabbit Head and went to the door. Standing on the other side of the glass was a bachelor’s dream come true; a lovely young girl in a French maid’s costume. Amber thought for a moment that it might be a strip-o-gram for one of the guys. The girl’s skirt was almost obscenely short. The tops of her black thigh high stockings peeked out beneath the frilly black skirt. Amber considered not answering the door for a moment. She didn’t want to be stripped for, at least not by someone of the same gender. As offensive as she found the idea, Amber opened the door to greet the young woman.

Morning broke over the seemingly peaceful desert haven of Strangetown. Birds twittered in the palm trees. Butterflies glided on perfumed breezes over the flowerbeds. Sleepy eyed children woke to the smells of blueberry pancakes.   The sun crested the distant mountains to the east, bathing the tiny oasis town in golden beams of light. A dog barked a playful warning to a passing mail carrier and a cat pounced from a neighbor's windowsill onto a feather fluttering in the breeze. Lazlo Curious stood naked in his bathroom and wept.

Andromeda Lesath Curious arrived on this planet at 3:48 AM on November first. I named her after Andromeda, the beautiful daughter of Cepheus and Cassiopeia, also our nearest large neighbor galaxy, and Lesath, Scorpius's Upsilon star.

“What do we do, just wait?” asked Nervous

“There is nothing else we can do,” answered Lazlo

Feeling suddenly weak kneed and nauseated, I grasped the stair rail.

“I need to lie down.”

That was it. I had had enough. I was ready to just lay down on the ground and die, and probably throw up a few times in the process. 

 

When a slightly inebriated Lazlo and Nervous staggered back to the bunker, I had my feet up on the sofa, Star Trek 2.0 on the tube and was half way through a pint of Chunky Monkey. They stumbled over the threshold and into the living room while laughing at Vidcund’s efforts to woo a Ms. Amber St. Clare. The two of them sprawled lazily in front of the TV.