Chapter 25 : Jesus has a Nice Smile

[pascal_curious]

“You could have told me it was going to rain,” Bernard grumbled at the bald man sitting at his table, reading his newspaper.

 

Startled, Nervous turned around to see Jesus, in his pajamas, standing in the doorway. A light rain was falling outside. Nervous hadn’t noticed it.

 

“Where were you?” Nervous asked, too surprised at seeing Jesus in his pajamas to think of anything else.

“I was in the hammock outside.” Bernard answered as he sat in the chair next to Nervous. “I didn’t want to disturb you.”

“Oh.”

Nervous couldn’t think of what to say to Jesus so he took an inordinately long time to re-fold the newspaper.

Bernard watched him in silence, taking note of the orange peel, cereal box, empty cans and dirty dishes on the table.

Nervous finally got the Newspaper folded neatly and sighed anxiously. He couldn’t help but notice that Jesus looked very annoyed.

“Well, this is a good quality long, awkward pause,” Nervous said anxiously.

“Aren’t you going to ask me what happened?” Bernard asked.

“I was going to, but I forgot.” Nervous explained lamely.

“Well, whatever your name is,” Bernard began.

“Nervous,” Nervous interrupted.

“What?”

“Nervous, that’s my name, Nervous.”

“What the hell kind of name is Nervous?” Bernard asked incredulously.

“Um, it is a nickname my parents gave me.” Nervous explained.

“Must be some weird parents you’ve got.”

“You have no idea.”

“Well, Nervous, have you ever heard of Long QT Syndrome?”

“No.” Nervous answered meekly. He got the feeling he was about to get a lecture.

“It happens a lot to Triathletes. It is when you heart skips a beat after some sort of shock. It makes your internal electrical system to go haywire. It happens when they run into water for the swim part of the race.”

Bernard studied Nervous’ expression closely to see if the boy was following him. Apparently he wasn’t.

“You jumped into that water after you were all overheated and full of adrenaline. The shock of the cold water caused your heart so skip a beat. You are lucky you didn’t die.”

“Oh, “said Nervous sheepishly.

“You were lucky I was here and was able to go in after you.”

“Thanks?” asked Nervous, not sure what Jesus wanted him to say.

“You’re welcome. Now, are you going to tell me why you decided to jump into my oasis?”

“It was there?” Nervous replied feebly.

Despite himself, Bernard cracked a smile.

Jesus has a nice smile, Nervous thought.

“I was out for a jog and I ran out of water. Then I saw your place. I was desperate,” Nervous explained.

“You haven’t been jogging long, have you?”

“Only about a half hour.”

This made Bernard laugh.

“That wasn’t exactly what I meant. You don’t exactly look like the athletic type; I wondered what made you decide to go out for a run in the desert”

“Ohhh. Well, I was trying to get into shape. I need to be able to protect myself.”

“Protect yourself from what, exactly?” Bernard asked. He couldn’t help but notice that Nervous was a big kid; very tall and lanky, but also a bit flabby. He imagined that Nervous spent most of his time in front of the TV or computer eating Cheesy Poofs and drinking Mountain Dew.

“Um, I guess you could call him my dad. I mean, legally, he is my father.”

“But?”

“He’s an asshole.”

Bernard laughed again. This kid was about as sharp as a sack of wet mice.

Nervous didn’t really like being laughed at by Jesus.

“He always wants to do these stupid scientific experiments on me. That’s how I got the nickname. He was writing up notes on his research one day when I was about nine and he referred to me as ‘The Nervous Subject’. The name stuck. The initials are the same as my real name, he thought it was hilarious.”

“You aren’t making this up are you?” Bernard could tell by Nervous’ expression that he wasn’t telling a tall tale.

“Why would I? That’s just sick.” Nervous asked.

“I agree with you there, but why doesn’t your mother put a stop to it?”

“She’s kinda busy. She’s not usually around when he wants to do his experiments.”

“But she has to know that something is going on, right? I mean, she lives with you.” Bernard asked. He fully expected to hear that the kid’s mother was a drunken coke whore or some such thing.

“De Nile ain’t just a river in Egypt.”

Bernard laughed so hard his sides ached.

“Jesus Christ!” Bernard exclaimed. “How do they find me? I try to find a place where I can live alone and not be bothered by society at large, and it always manages to find me.”

Nervous was thunderstruck. Jesus was taking his own name in vain!

Bernard folded his arms on the table and leaned in as though he was going to impart some confidential information to Nervous. Nervous sat back in his chair. He didn’t feel comfortable being so close to Jesus.

“A couple of weeks ago this kid showed up. He was about fifteen, I guess. He said he had left his mother and had come to Strangetown to find his father whom he had never met before. He said he couldn’t stand living with his mother anymore because she was a drunken whore. He just needed a place to stay for a few nights until he could find his dad.” Bernard reclined in his chair and crossed his arms over his chest. “Then there was that girl last year who showed up in my garden, drunk. She said she had blacked out and couldn’t remember how she got there, and wondered could she just spend the night. She ended up staying for a week. I should put out a shingle and set up practice. Bernard Carlton, Youth Counseling and Alcohol Detox.”

“Bernard?” Nervous asked.

“Yeah?”

“That’s your name?” Nervous wanted to be sure that he hadn’t misunderstood.

“Since the day I was born.”

“Oh.” Nervous tried to think of something to say. He didn’t want to let on that he had thought he had been talking to the Son of God; a god that he didn’t believe in, especially.

“So what happened to them, the runaway kid and the drunk girl?”

“Oh, the boy stayed for a few days and then one day he was just gone. He had been sleeping in the hammock and I got up one morning and he wasn’t there. I guess he did find his dad, I have seen him working as a cashier at the grocery store. He avoids me when I go in there. I don’t know what happened to the drunken girl. She asked fro a ride into town and said she would call one of her friends from the pay phone. I have seen her outside the pub a few times. She must live nearby.”

“How long have you lived here?” Nervous asked. “I never noticed this place before.”

“A couple of years,” Bernard told him. “I cashed in my retirement after I got divorced and decided to leave society behind.”

“Why?”

“I just got fed up with the rat race. I didn’t want to have to worry about working for someone else doing something I didn’t like for the rest of my life. I was fed up with it all, work, women, reality TV, the whole shebang.”

Bernard got up from the table and began to clear away Nervous’ mess.

“I thought we could have some fish for lunch. I got some salmon at the market last night. It is in a cooler in the pantry, it should still be ok.”

“Lunch?”

“Well, you are going to stay for a while aren’t you? That’s the usual way of things.”

“Oh, ok.” Nervous was surprised. He was under the impression that Bernard didn’t like having company. He wondered if Bernard could possibly be lonely.

“Well, if you are going to stay I’m going to put you to work. I have to take a load of produce over to the market this evening. I’m going to need help picking.”

Comments

[madame-ugly.livejournal.com]

"Jesus was taking his own name in vain." *snerk*

All the Jesus lines were amusing. But why do I get the feeling Bernard might not be the sactuary Nervous is looking for?

[pascal-curious.livejournal.com]

Bernie is a good guy, but that is not to say that he isn't going to cause any problems.

[tiipiipii.livejournal.com]

Oh, poor, naive and childish Nervous. You just have to love him and his innocence. The "name in vain" line was just perfect for him.

It was nice that you finally shed some light on, who Jesus actually is.

[aledstrange.livejournal.com]

I've been catching up with your story tonight, I love it! :)

I like your take on Circe, and how Nervous has been developing. Also love that the Curious don't really know about their green sisters and how are you been telling that part of the story. And I really enjoyed this part now, all the Jesus jokes gave me a good laugh!

And great work with poses, too. The last part with Vidcund was really well done.

[pascal-curious.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much for the compliments. I am glad you are enjoying it.

I thought the Jesus jokes might have gotten a little stale, there were so many of them.
I am anxious to keep going with all of the story lines I have going right now. I have a lot of ideas rolling around in my head.

I love pose boxes since I have discovered them. Those and OMSPs make everything so much easier. I just got a new video card too, so I can't wait to see what a difference it will make in my pictures.

7 hours of reading + Flying saucers + Pregnant men + pretty neighbors = ... Jesus?

[shyrevalation.livejournal.com]

I have been reading, working, watching, and gawking in amezment at you creativiny for like 7 hours ... I started reading from the first chapter at 12:45 ... today ... or somewhere around there ...

My favourite part so far is ... when ... Pascal is talking to ... Amber i think it is ... and she was describing the saucer ... and then he asks if she saw his brother get pushed out ... VERY hilarious ... and I love the jesus bit ... also very funny

Re: 7 hours of reading + Flying saucers + Pregnant men + pretty neighbors = ... Jesus?

[pascal-curious.livejournal.com]

Wow!. I am so thrilled that I could keep you amused for 7 hours! I hope I can keep it up. Thanks for reading and the compliments!

[sounddecision.livejournal.com]

Oh, no, the Jesus jokes were great, loved them all. I was snerking for all of it. :)